End of school year, yay?

Well, it's that time of the school year. The end. This is somehow when I get my most inspiration for the NEXT year. Probably because it becomes clear which goals were met, which ones weren't, which things we can drop, etc. My newest idea is that NEXT year I am going to give my kids about a six week break during January and February. We nearly always spend that time sick anyway, and in my experience, we have to catch up so much afterward, that it just seems like a good idea.

Blog? I have one?

Who knew? Did you? No? I also either didn't remember such a thing. But hey, now that I do remember, I will try to toss some interesting things out here into internet-land for those who might ever read it.

Like, for example, did you know that my six-year-old son is a sleepwalker? Really. He has been for, well, probably his whole life, but it's hard to say because of the time in the crib. The kid just came into my room about five minutes ago, put his hands up against my bedroom wall, "frisk" style, and I could see that this was going to result in some type of puddle on my floor. So, even though I could have waited a second to see what was going to happen, I instead guided the child to the bathroom to complete his somewhat intended business. And everything turned out fine. 

I did it, people!

I fixed my blog! I'm sorry to admit that it took me many moons to get over the disappointment of seeing the mess that it had become (my custom decor was out of existence). Darling hubby is out of town for the night, and I decided to pull myself up by my non-techie bootstraps and figure it out. There is a quiet, nerdy dance of victory going on over here. Okay, done boasting, sleep now.

Better Late Than Never

Well, here I am at 2 in the morning on the night before our weekly homeschool group. Tomorrow shall be pleasant. Or blurry. All I know is, we have to buy a pack of sugar-free gum for Garrison's friend and insert eight pages somewhere in Eilean's binder. There are some other things that have to get done, too, but they will surely present themselves in the form of loud verbal requests in the five seconds before we have to go. Forgive my frustration. I am really sleepy on account of I actually miss my husband, who happens to be gone on some work-related conference thing.

On a funny note, today was the day that I sang out the Latin conjugations in the van on the way home from something. Presently, Garrison began making this odd choking, gagging sound, which of course always makes a mom whip her head completely around. He said he was fine, but that he was trying not to laugh at my singing. I guess that's good. I mean, he could have been sinking into his seat with embarrassment, knowing that I am his mother. But instead, it's just hilarious to him that I can't sing. Well, good. Now off to sleep? Maybe?

A Double Sink and a Single Bite

There are a lot of things that happen around here, and illness seems to be the most popular. We have just gotten past a bit of chicken pox. Well, maybe. It will probably show up on someone else soon, since there's that two-week incubation period. But even with that possibility, I'm not breaking a sweat.

And then there's Linus. My sweet, content, joyful three-year-old, who just cannot keep from having SOMETHING icky going on. He had a huge bug bite on his ankle. No problem. I kept an eye on it, because, as stated above, chicken pox. This thing got big and bubbly. Then later the next day, his ankle was swollen and purple, like he had sprained it.

Now, realize, there are a lot of things going on in our house. It is Memorial Day weekend. We stayed home from church because, duh, chicken pox. Also, John decided this was the weekend to put in a new bathroom sink. A double sink, so as to lessen the amount of elbowing and shoving that occurs daily and nightly. He had just smilingly reported to me that, after days of hard work, he would be done in ten minutes! And we could try out the new sink, hooray! But that is of course when I discovered the purpleness of the kid's ankle. And also, the kid couldn't walk so well. So, ten minutes from the end of his big project, John was driving our little guy to the ER. Linus got some shots in a very unpleasant place; he has a bacterial infection and is on antibiotics. Our little sweetie. This is (I think) his fifth trip to the ER. And hey! New bathroom sink is up and running!

Mother's Day

Well, Happy Late Mother's Day to all of y'all. My kids gave me some lovely gifts including: Earl Grey Tea, a pizza baking stone, pizza cutter, pizza pan (do they want me to make pizza?), an aloe vera plant, some Belgian chocolate truffles, and some nice dark Venezuelan chocolate. Yum. Also, I got to have donuts and coffee for lunch. And John grilled burgers for dinner. It was a nice day... there was no snot, fevers, or throw-up... and to top it all off, baby Loucie took off walking for really the first time! She had been doing one, two, three... boom! for weeks, but her Mother's Day gift was to walk for real.

Let me know how your day went!

So, you want to have more than two kids?

This is an exercise in motherhood, for those who are considering the profession.

You will need the following for your training:

-a friend, or possibly two, who can follow directions to re-enact this typical day in parenting

-a hamster ball

-a motorized, battery-operated car

-several opened boxes of cereal, crackers, etc.

-Fig Newtons

-something sharp and dangerous, perhaps a mirror shard, or broken CD case

-kettlebell, or some other weighty object, like a pillowcase full of rocks

Scene 1

Child A: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

Child B: I'm hungry. I want my candy. I want my candy. I WANT MY CANDY!

Mom: (ignoring A, speaking to B) I can tell that you need to go potty, let's go together now, it'll be fun!

Child B: (dancing vivaciously) I don't have to go POTTY! I have to EAT CANDY! No! No! No!

Mom: Let's go now.

Mom picks up Child B under the armpits, which results in a slip-through (see Notes for the Actor, below). Mom then attempts to pick up B again and carry B into the bathroom. An important wardrobe note for this scene: Mom is dressed in pajamas and has some cereal crumbs stuck to the soles of her feet.

Child A: Mommy! Mommy!

Mom: What?!?

Child A: Look at what I drew! (shoves drawing into Mom's face) Look: this is what I dreamed about last night. This is you, only you don't look like yourself because you have hooves and you are wearing this green striped shirt that looks almost exactly like the one you have except this one in my dream has no sleeves, and here is the grass which was really funny since it's orange. I don't know why it's orange, but it is. This is the magical rainbow horse who can talk, but I can't remember what she said right now. Let me think...

Mom: (catching her reflection) I have hooves...

Child B: I don't want to go potty! I don't want to go potty! (loosed from Mom's grasp, B runs into bedroom and is completely silent)

Mom: Where are you?!? (nearly trips over Child A, who is still waving the drawing around and chattering about it)

It is now time for stagehands to release the toddler and crawling infant (which are the kettlebell for Mom to pick up in one hand, without even really noticing that she has done so, and the battery-operated car inside the hamster ball. Both of these need to be in the bathroom, followed by Child B, who suddenly needs attention again.)

Child B: Uhh... Mom?

Mom: What?!?

Child B: I had an accident.

Mom: (sighs, puts down heavy object) All right, let's get you cleaned up.

Child B: I love you, Mommy.

(Use the Fig Newtons here to simulate cleaning up of a big mess. It must get under the fingernails to be completely authentic. Sound of sobbing coming from off-stage, this is Child A, upset about being ignored. Hamster ball is no longer in the bathroom, possibly not even in the house.)

Mom: I love you, too, sweetie. (steps onto sharp object)

End Scene

Notes for the Actor:

Wardrobe for "Mom" can include anything comfortable, such as pajamas, or anything appropriate for cleaning, but not good enough to wear out of the house. Also, her hairstyle must be such that a glimpse in the mirror makes her want to cry.

A "slip-through" can be accomplished mainly by anyone under the age of 8, but can be simulated by an adult if done properly. First, you must care nothing about what will happen to your body, because it will drop to the floor, and you must take off running immediately. To achieve it, go completely boneless once you have been grabbed under your armpits, drop, and run. Simple, elegant, liquid.