Thanks to Home Alone, my son has a new vocabulary word

Last night, as I was helping Linus out of the bath, I was experiencing micro heart attacks from his relentless jumping. You know what I mean, the child is dripping from head to toe, slamming his heels in his own puddles, lock-kneed, ready to just land on that fat dimply bottom. And I'm there telling him, "Let me dry you off, the floor is wet, you're going to fall." To which he is simultaneously jumping and answering LOUDLY, "No. No, it isn't! No, I'm not!" And the second that towel was out of his way, he shook his dimply bottom, dropped one shoulder, cocked his head to one side and said, "I'm a little jerk." Emphasis on the "jerk," which he said in a slower, deeper voice, complete with the toddler standard mispronounced "r." He promptly ran naked throughout the house on what we now call the Linus circuit. If he's naked, he runs until he is forced into some clothing. No surface is safe, really, so don't take his clothes off unless you plan to bathe him. It was easy to find him last night since he kept saying, "I'm a little jerk."

Today, John pointed at Linus and told me we will have to lock the car keys in the safe every night. I laughed. He said, "It's not funny."