Mom: Flush the toilet.
Kid: Oh yeah, I forgot!
(the sound of flushing)
In our house, it normally goes like this, but I will add tonight's extra special drama, because it is so noteworthy that I laughed through it.
Mom: Flush the toilet.
Kid: I don't want to! You do it!
Mom: Flush it.
Kid: It's going to overflow! You do it! Pleeeeease!!! I don't want to! I don't want to! (running naked out the door)
Mom: (wrestling the naked child back into the bathroom) You are six years old. Do not be afraid of the toilet. A toilet is created by a person. I can stop it from overflowing! I'm right here, here is the plunger (indicating with a nod of the head), I have the ability to stop it from overflowing!
Kid: (screaming crazily) Don't make me do it! This is the scariest thing I've ever had to do!!! I hate it! I hate it!
Mom: Why are you so afraid? What's the worst that could happen? I'll tell you the worst: the toilet could overflow. There will be a mess for me to clean up off the floor, and I'll have to plunge the toilet. Not a big deal. I can stop the water from flowing. I can shut off the water valve. It's NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF!
Kid: (screaming, crying) Don't make me do it! Don't make me do it!
Mom: (holding child's hand on the handle, almost ready to flush) WE'LL DO IT TOGETHER!
Kid: DADDY! DADDY!
*it must be noted at this point that Daddy is not home
You're not my Mom! You're the worst Mom in the world for making me do this! Daddy is the best! He's my Daddy AND my Mommy now! You're not my Mommy anymore!!!
*FLUSH*
(high-pitched screaming from not just this one child, but the toddler in the bathtub watching this whole thing and also the baby who had JUST FALLEN ASLEEP)
Sigh.
Seriously? The toilet? It's a good thing this was all hilarious, and there was no blood involved.
I wonder what everyday object will challenge us tomorrow...
In other news, I'm supposed to bake two dozen cookies for a meeting of a group for which I am an officer, but cannot show up to. Did that make sense? We are heading to St. Louis for a week while John attends a librarian conference. I'm trying to play catch-up on all the stuff that needs to get done in order to go and to be gone. Sleep should be on the list, but it's not. Oh, dang! We need trash bags! Gotta go!
That gives new meaning to the phrase "toilet training". I feel for you, Lora won't go on the automatic toilets now...that reminds me of someone...I wonder if non-flushing is in our genes? She would rather pee her pants & get a swat for it than sit on that toilet. I have to physically prepare her to potty & hold her on the toilet while she nervously tries to convince me that she doesn't have to go. The cold toilet seat usually wins & I always say "see, I knew you had to go! What was so difficult about that?" While she's wearing a pained look waiting for the loud whooshing sound to suck her down the toilet bowl into the sewer.
ReplyDeleteHopefully he will grow out of his fear...can you imagine having to explain his flushphobia to his new bride at the reception?
Flushphobia. That's it. A lot of other kids have it; I've been outside of public bathrooms in this town and have witnessed several others going through the same ordeal. I've had to kick in the door to the stall while holding a screaming, wriggling child, just to check that it's not automatic. I know every automatic and manual toilet in this here town!
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